The Price of Freedom is Eternal Vigilance - John F. Kennedy
 
 
 
You are here The Anguillian Columns

Positive Living: "Making Love Last"


The statistics are indicating that in these modern times, fewer people are choosing marriage. Cohabitation has become an accepted lifestyle for many couples. However, it would not be accurate to say that marriages these days are a failure. Some marriages are incredibly successful. Some people find a way to heal rifts, settle conflicts and grow in their relationships.


Mrs. Marilyn Hodge
Mrs. Marilyn Hodge
If our marriages are to last, we have to grow in our sense of personal fulfillment, in our capacity to forgive, in our appreciation for each other and in our ability to overcome self-centredness. It must be pointed out that there are no perfect marriages. We have to work on our relationships everyday, to make them work and to keep them strong and healthy.

Here are seven principles that, if practiced, can help to make love last:

1. Commitment.
When we got married, we made a solemn promise to love, honour and cherish each other as long as we both shall live, and not forgetting until death do us part. At that moment in time, we believed the words we said and committed to them, and we should still honour them.
2. Romance.
You may not maintain the same level of romantic intensity that prevailed in your early days. During those times you sat so close to each other in the car, that it looked as if it took two persons to drive it. But you need not continue to be so close physically especially when carrying out such intricate and technical tasks. What you need to work on is trying to express your romance in small, yet new and exciting ways. A foot rub, a back rub, a rose in a vase when there's no occasion and an appreciation card are examples .
3. Laughter.
Tease each other and act silly sometimes. Look at the humorous side of serious situations. Give the child in all of us an opportunity to express him or herself.
4. Togetherness.
Take time to do things together, although one of you would very well prefer to do something else. For example, when you travel together and your husband wants to spend an hour looking at the musical instruments or browsing the electronics department, when you would rather view the jewellery stores or clothing centres, share the time and view those things together rather than going separate ways.

5.Anger Management.
Maybe you are still trying to get a handle on this one, but you have to learn healthy ways of managing your anger. It's especially important to diffuse it so the intensity level can be lowered. One way to do this is to talk it through. Hence the importance of the next principle -----
6. Communication.
During your time of marriage, you should not assume that you have mastered the communication process. Yes, of course, you would sometimes be able to finish each other's sentences, but on certain occasions , you will wonder, "What planet your spouse or partner is on?" You will tend to believe that, “Men are truly from Mars and women from Venus.”
7. Forgiveness.
You must always seek to work through the problem or problems that threaten your marriage or relationship from time to time, by learning to forgive. Although there are times you may have to face problems of great magnitude, constant forgiveness is always necessary if the relationship is to last.
By continuing to employ these seven principles, your relationship would thrive and grow, making it possible for you to live together until death does separate you from each other. Continue to strive to make your love grow and deepen as the years go by.

Remember, in a healthy marriage, there are differences but compromise can be reached. Each partner should be willing to give and forgive from time to time. There are times to compromise, and there are times to agree to disagree. Be care-full / full of care. In other words, be a person who is caring. If you would like your marriage or relationship to last, you have to forgive and support each other.
Remember: “Life is never one sweet song.” Rather there will be several songs with different beats, tones and tempos.




| Printer-friendly page | Send this article to a friend |
World News
 
 
 
 
Powered by eZ publish