It has been pointed out in many circles that in the Caribbean as a whole, neglect is one of the biggest issues confronting children. Neglect is without a doubt a form of child abuse and can be shown in many ways. Children who are not fed properly, left alone at the house while the parents go out without proper supervision, walk to and from school while dodging dangerous traffic are a few examples of neglect.

Others may take the shape of children not wearing clean clothes, not having the ability to bathe, brush their teeth, etc… Yet, neglect is not the topic of this edition of Celebration of Youth. The other side of the spectrum can also be parents or guardians who are over protective or over bearing. There is no secret formula to good parenting as each parent and child are different and have distinct needs. Yet, I am sure all would agree that balance in life in everything one does is healthy and the same must apply to parenting.

Parents are not just responsible for the well being of their children but also for the teaching of important life skills. Parents are charged with preparing their children for the real world and giving them the skills necessary to survive and make it on their own one day. Recently, I witnessed a few shocking examples of over protective parents and the negative effects of this can be found on the faces of the children. It is natural for a human being to find their own identity and venture out to try new things. Yet, over protective parents often times do not let the children have any responsibility to exist outside of the realm of parent and child and this is extremely damaging as life’s lessons are learned through trial and error. When a child cannot go or do anything without having to answer to the frantic and paranoid cries of mommy or daddy every five minutes asking, “where are you?” or “what are you doing?” it makes the child feel as if they are not allowed to be a person and must answer at all times to someone. Obviously, children must be disciplined and taught to obey their parents as it is evident that rules are in place to protect the child. But, mark my words, over protective parents are going to raise a child who will eventually become rebellious and resentful; especially to his or her parents.

As a school teacher, I have dealt with more than 5,000 children of all ages. The best-behaved students are always the ones who have parents who trust them and give them responsibility. These good students are also very well aware of the consequences of their negative behaviour and their parents will not hesitate to discipline them. The most disrespectful and rebellious children always have parents who are either neglectful or too protective. One can tell a great deal about children through their parents and I have seen it too many times. Being neglectful is damaging, but being too protective can be equally destructive. Balance in life is critical. Teach your children how to be productive and good citizens, but also allow them to put into practice what you teach.

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