Anguilla Wedding

A letter arrives to the girl’s parents declaring the young man’s honorable intentions to come courting the young lady and to take her hand in marriage. All is agreed and the courting begins. Acceptance means that the young man can now visit the young lady in the presence of a parent and they can start to walk out together (Going to Church most times).

The loving pair has gone around paying their respects of introduction of each other to the wider members of the families on both sides. On the appointed Sunday the lover-boy ‘passes the ring’ to the blushing girl. Eventually the date has been set and the courting days of sitting up in the hall in the presence of the parents are coming to an end. It may have taken one year or seven years according to the circumstances.

“I publish the banns of marriage between George William and Avis Adella” will ring out from the pulpit in the Church for the first time of asking, then the second Sunday of asking and finally for the third time of asking.

In the meantime, eyes are kept on the prickly pear cactus and the pommeserrate trees for the ripe fruits to set up the Miss Blyden and pommeserrate liquer so that it will ripen well giving it at least three to four months to get mellow.

The fowls cackle at their peril for neighbours, relatives and friends are all on the hunt picking up and collecting eggs to make sure that there is a good supply for the stand- cake, side cakes and soda cakes as well as the tortes and pastries if you can rise to them.
The cackle of laying hens launches a search for nests of eggs from which upon discovery some are taken and deposited in the box with sand to keep them from going addle while those which remain in the nest will lure the hen back to it to continue laying.

Everyday as the cows are milked the milk is ‘set up’ and the cream skimmed from the bonny clabber (now called yogurt) and the lap churning of the cream into butter becomes a nightly ritual in anticipation and preparation for the great day.

The bride and her maids, groom and best-man , family, friends and guests have all made sure that the finery is natty. There is more trying on and alteration than John ever read about.

The smuggling of the liquor is complete and the demi-johns of rum and wine are well secured

The cake-makers have their tasks cut out for them and the cooks, particularly the ‘dover’ cooks know that they have to come up to snuff, because, SHOW ME YOUR WEDDING AND I WILL TELL YOU WHO YOU ARE

The banns have been called for the third and last time of asking and there have been no objections voiced to the marriage, the cocks are crowing and The Day has dawned.

The hall of the home is ready, the yard has been well swept in preparation for the tents which will be put up in the yard to accommodate most of the guests. The stand cake is iced and decorated with a lot of silver balls as are the side cakes; the tortes and soda cakes are also ready. But first things first. That white flag must be hoisted on the roof of the bride’s home. It proclaims the place of celebration and so much more.

To meet the appointed hour the groom and his party get to the church on time. The guests arrive in a colourful fashion parade and are assembled in the Church, those for the bride on the left and those for the groom on the right.

The parasoled bride on the right arm of her father-giver together with her maids of honour set out (on foot of course) to get to the church on time. She is attended by her cake-bearer and those constantly wiping her face so that her party will look good for the horde of on-lookers whom she will meet at the Church yard. They always tried to establish a dressing place as near to the Church as they conveniently could. It was usually the dress-maker’s job to arrange this.

As the party gets in sight either by the Well or at the Mahogany Tree according to the direction of their arrival, the wedding bells begin to peel and continue to do so until she stands at the door with her father-giver and the wedding march begins.

Whether the marriage celebration will be an ordinary marriage service according to the rites of the church or whether (if Anglican) it will be a nuptial mass with communion and all will depend upon the virginal entitlements of the bride. There will be much clucking of tongue and teeth if the bride begins to show expectant fat shortly after enjoying a nuptial mass. Indeed, it was felt that a curse could descend upon her for seeking to deceive God.

The vows are exchanged, not always without mishap, because some brides would alter the vows from ”For richer for poorer” to “For richer not poorer” and the parson would have to say firmly I say Say after me “For richer for poorer in sickness and in health” It was not unknown that the groom himself had to weigh in on this insistence: “Woman say after the parson, I Avis Adella take thee thy George William to have and to hold …..”

The ring is blessed - One ring - and that placed on the bride’s ring finger which will be sticking out for many weeks to come.

Husband and wife emerge from the Church amid more peeling of the bells and so they and the whole wedding party with followers behind them begin the long and often dusty walk to the house of celebration. A large black umbrella is held high above the couple while before them go the cake-bearer with the stand cake on her head without having to touch the tray upon which it is so proudly bourne. Their entourage and guests follow behind in their array of splendour under the inspecting gaze of all the onlookers and followers. What a fashion parade!! From the church to the house of the wedding feast.

The cake bearer unloads the stand cake onto the long table as the centre-piece of the celebrations. Bride and Groom, the parson, the father-giver, best-man and maids of honour as well as any honoured guests are seated in the hall around the cake while all others are seated in the tents in the yard; the wedding feast is blessed, the first course, the meat soup with dumplings and rolls, is served with the parson and the loving-pair being served first and the first round of speeches begins.

When that first course is finished the guests in the hall as well as the guests under the tents get up and go for a walk to allow that food to settle before they return for the main course of the ‘doved’ mutton, stewed goat, roast chickens and pork, stewed peas, rice and peas and whatever other delicacies the cooks can competitively come up with because it is a day of show me.
The long and eloquent speeches, after all the weeks of private rehearsals, have all been made by the men. No woman speaks The Miss Blyden is flowing as well as the wine and the kola, and the liquor is frequently and well nipped from all those little shot glasses which like the plates and cutlery have been borrowed and collected from all the families, neighbours and friends. It is indeed a time of pooling the resources.

It is time to go around the village for the second walk for that round of food to settle well, before the ‘ weddeners’ return to feast on the cakes and to begin their dancing in the yard.

They are indeed weary revelers who at last leave the party after the bride and groom have gone to the house prepared by the groom as the matrimonial home; it could not be a rented place first because there was none to rent and no money to pay rent and secondly, there was the mantra that “When you want to have a wife you must build a house to put her in”. And so we hope and pray that they will live happily ever after.

The Sunday following the wedding celebrations is the time for ‘turn tanks’ The newly married couple together with all their wedding attendees return to Church resplendent in their ‘turn tanks” outfits and refinery as an expression of thanks for the blessings showered upon them. It is indeed a second resplendent parade. Of course, it is the first glimpse of how well the newly weds are treating each other. And all eyes are glued upon them. There must be smiles of happiness beaming from their faces.

After Church and the mingling with the congregation it is time for the second and closing part of the feast but this time at the matrimonial home but with less intruders and not on the lavish scale of the wedding day.

Of course, if the newly weds didn’t show on the Sunday of Turn Tanks then you know that they had a fight. Not so good a start. But it is not the end of the world.

Dame Bernice V. Lake DGCN, Q.C.